The Best Paybacks Against Cartman

As much as tubby, foul-mouthed Eric Cartman sends us in the floor, doubled over and snorting whatever beverage we’ve swallowed from our noses, there’s no question that he’s a world class jackass. And when people get their revenge on Cartman, they get him good. Here is a list of some of the best paybacks against Cartman.

AWESOME-O: As Cartman tries to pull yet another one over Butters, Butters realizes at the last minute his new best friend the robot is really Cartman simply trying to get a tape of himself singing and dancing as Brittany Spears back from Butters. So, little Mr. Stotch does what he had been planning to do all along, and humiliates Cartman in front of everyone by showing the tape. Cartman’s response? A defeated, “Lame.”

Ginger Kids: Since Cartman notoriously hates “ginger kids” with red hair and freckles, Kyle, Stan and Kenny decide to trick him and bleach his skin, dye his hair, and use henna to create freckles. Cartman then does a reverse, saying that only ginger kids are superior and should sacrifice the non-gingers—only to be told by Kyle that it was all fake. Terrified of the ginger army he has now raised, Cartman is left to lamely declare peace between everyone in his own self-defense.

And oddly enough, some of the best episodes where Cartman gets a taste of his own medicine are when he gives a dose to himself…

Cartman Joins NAMBLA: Believing himself to be too “mature” for his friends, Cartman signs up for NAMBLA in hopes of making some new, older friends. The joke is on him, of course, when he nearly gets himself—and most of the boys in town—raped by a bunch of pedophiles.

Cartmanland: As Kyle starts doubting God over Cartman’s surprise new ownership of a theme park, lo and behold, Cartman’s payback hits him from his own hands when he refuses to let people into the theme park. He eventually relents and lets people in, making him hate the park, selling it back to its former owner—and owing the government out the wazoo. Yes, Kyle, there is a god.

My Future Self ‘n Me: When Cartman’s real future self comes back to congratulate him on his good life choices, Cartman scoffs and thinks it’s a trick, saying that he’ll keep doing what he’s been doing and worse… changing his future for the worse. And isn’t that a fitting future for our favorite little miscreant?